During the vows at the wedding the minister asks the bride to be, "Do you take this man to be your wedded husband for better or worse?"
The bride answers, "Just as he is Father. If he gets any better, I know the Lord will take him, and if he gets any worse, I'll tend to him myself."
Woman Friend: "No wonder Edith won't look at you. It's your fault. You act like a fool, fawning and cringing before her. Its like you don't care to call your soul your own."
Mr. Wormley: "Don't women like that kind of thing?"
Woman Friend: "Well, not until after marriage."
A woman in my office recently divorced after years of marriage, had signed up for a refresher CPR course.
"Is it hard to learn?" someone asked.
"Not at all," my co-worker replied. "Basically you're asked to breathe life into a dummy. I don't expect to have any problem. I did that for 12 years."
For years my sister’s husband tried unsuccessfully to persuade her to get a hearing aid.
“How much do they cost?” she asked one day after he had pitched the idea to her again.
“They’re usually about $3000,” he said.
“Okay, well if you say something worth $3000,” she replied, “I’ll get one.”