A well-dressed man approached a woman at a health food store and in a clipped British accent asked her exactly what she did with the tofu in her basket.
She said she normally puts it in the refrigerator, looks at it for several weeks and then throws it away.
The man replied, "That's exactly what my wife does with it. I was hoping you had a better recipe."
A man entered a stationery store and asked the clerk for a birthday/anniversary card. The clerk replied, "We have birthday cards and we have anniversary cards. Why not take one of each?"
The man said, "You don't understand. I need a card that covers both events! You see, we're celebrating the fifth anniversary of my wife's thirty-fourth birthday."