Today my daughter gave my wife a big hug for no reason.
Then she turns to me and says, "You're right dad, mom has gained a little weight."
Our dog is currently making room for me in his house.
We were driving in my friend Larry's new car. I asked him about its features.
He listed the usual, then added: "It tells me to slow down as I approach the speed limit. It warns me when I have to stop. It points out solid no-passing lines."
I expressed my amazement.
"But," he explained, "these features work only when my wife is in the car."
A woman had an attack of laryngitis and lost her voice completely for two days.
To help her communicate, her husband devised a system of taps.
One tap meant "Give me a kiss", two taps meant "Yes", seven taps meant "No", and 95 taps meant "Take out the garbage".
Every morning during our coffee break, my co-workers and I listened to the culinary disasters of a newlywed colleague. We then tried to share some helpful hints and recipes.
One day she asked us for step-by-step instructions on cooking sweet potatoes, one of her husband's favorites. "I've finally been able to make them sweet," she said, "but how do you make them orange?"