marriage jokes

Category: "Marriage Jokes"
$8.00 won 3 votes

My husband was going on a diet, but when we pulled into a fast-food restaurant, he ordered a milkshake. I pointed out that a shake isn't exactly the best snack for someone who wants to lose weight. He agreed, but he didn't change his order.

The long line must have given him time to make the connection between his order and his waistline. As the woman handed him his shake, she said, "Sorry about the wait."

"That's okay," he replied. "I'm going to lose it."

3 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
Joke Won 7th Place won $8.00
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
0 votes

A newly married sailor was informed by the navy that he was going to be stationed a long way from home on a remote island in the Pacific for a year. A few weeks after he got there he began to miss his new wife, so he wrote her a letter. “My love," he wrote “we are going to be apart for a very long time. Already I'm starting to miss you and there's really not much to do here in the evenings. Besides that we're constantly surrounded by young attractive native girls. Do you think if I had a hobby of some kind I would not tempted?"

So his wife sent him back a harmonica saying, "Why don't you learn to play this?"

Eventually his tour of duty came to an end and he rushed back to his wife. "Darling" he said, "I can't wait to get you into bed so that we make passionate love!"

"First let's see you play that harmonica!"

0 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
2 votes

My husband told me that I am one of the eight wonders of the world...

I warned him not to let me catch him with any of the other seven!!!

2 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
posted by "Raul Bajarias" |
$25.00 won 7 votes

My friend was telling me the other day that his wife's intuition is so highly developed that she knows he's wrong before he says anything.

7 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
Joke Won 2nd Place won $25.00
posted by "Benjones" |