A young couple were having their first fight, and it was a big one. After a while the husband said, "Do you happen to remember your wedding vows from when we got married?"
His bride replied: "Yeah, yeah, whatever. I didn't want to start an argument in front of all those people at the wedding."
The homeowner got into his old work clothes one Saturday morning and set about all the chores his wife had been urging him to do all week.
He cleaned the garage, pruned the hedge, and was halfway through mowing the lawn when a woman pulled up in the driveway and called out her window, "Say, what do you get for yard work?"
The fellow thought for a moment and then answered, "The lady who lives here lets me live with her."
One night at the dinner table, the wife commented, "When we were first married, you took the small piece of steak and gave me the larger. Now you take the large one and leave me the smaller. You don't love me any more?"
"Nonsense, darling," replied the husband, "you just cook better now."