marriage jokes

"What did you buy your husband for his birthday?"

"Well, knowing he wanted a journal, I bought him one that locked since he's so particular about his notes."

"And surely you bought something for yourself too?"

"Oh, of course! I made myself a duplicate key."

I've had bad luck with both my wives.

The first one left me...

The second one didn't!

Busy in the yard one afternoon, my father paused to admire our neighbor's new boat.

"Sure is a beauty, Charles," Dad said. Knowing that Charles was conservative when it came to spending money, my father asked, "Was it expensive?"

"The boat itself wasn't so bad," Charles replied. "But the extras really hurt."

"You mean things like water skis, life jackets, and trailer?" my father asked.

"No," our neighbor said with a sigh. "I mean what the wife wanted - the new carpet, the kitchen cabinets, and the cabin room furniture."

In my Sunday school class the focus was marriage or divorce, "The rapidly increasing divorce rate," remarked one member of the group, "indicates that America is indeed becoming the land of the free."

"Yes," replied the prosaic friend, "but the continued marriage rate suggests that America is still the home of the brave."