work jokes

Interviewer: "Why did you leave your last job?"

Candidate: "There was a relocation."

Interviewer: "You moved?"

Candidate: "No, my company did. They just didn’t tell me where to."

Applications for a job at the company where I worked are asked to fill out a questionnaire. Among the things candidates list is their high school and when they attended.

One prospective employee dutifully wrote the name of his high school, followed by the dates attended: ”Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday.”

When hiring new staff at her public library, my daughter always asks the applicants what sort of supervision they’d be most comfortable with.

One genius answered, “I’ve always thought Superman’s X-ray vision would be cool.”

While working as a radiology technician in a hospital emergency room, I took x-rays of a trauma patient. I brought the films to our radiologist, who studied the multiple fractures of the femurs and pelvis.

"What happened to this patient?" he asked in astonishment.

"He fell out of a tree," I reported.

The radiologist wanted to know what the patient was doing up a tree.

"I'm not sure, but his paperwork states he works for Bob's Expert Tree Service."

Gazing intently at the x-rays, the radiologist blinked and said, "Cross out 'Expert.'"