work jokes

Claude, the invisible man, was low on funds and started job prospecting. His employment agency called him into their office with a job opportunity.

"I think this would be a great job for you," said the counselor. "A mirror salesman."

"I don't know," Claude replied. "I just can't see myself doing that."

Ron and John were building a house. John was on a ladder, nailing. He'd reach into his nail pouch, pull out a nail, look at it, and either toss it over his shoulder or proceed to nail it into the wood.

Ron couldn't stand it any longer and yelled, "Why are you throwing some of the nails away?"

John explained, "When I pull it out of my nail pouch, if it's pointed toward me, I throw it away. If it's pointed toward the house, then I can use it."

Ron replied, "What's wrong with you? Don't throw away the nails that are pointed toward you! They're for the other side of the house."

The strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could out-do anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of one of the older workmen. After several minutes, one older worker had had enough.

"Why don't you put your money where your mouth is," he said. "I will bet a week's wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that outbuilding that you won't be able to wheel back."

"You're on, old man," the braggart replied. "Let's see what you got."

The old man reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles. Then, nodding to the young man, he said, "All right. Get in."

My best friend is a real dunce. He just got fired from his job.

He told his boss he was too tired to go into work last night.

He's a mattress tester!