work jokes

My boss texted me, "Send me one of your funny jokes, Pete."

I replied, "I'm working at the moment, Sir, I will send you one later."

He replied, "That was fantastic, send me another one."

My boss told me yesterday, “Ken, you shouldn't dress for the job you have, dress for the job you want.”

But when I turned up at the office today in Ghostbuster's clothing, she said I was fired.

The boss ordered one of his men to dig a hole eight feet deep. After the job was completed the boss returned and explained an error had been made and the hole wouldn't be needed. "Fill 'er up," he ordered.

The worker did as he'd been told. But he ran into a problem. He couldn't get all the dirt packed back into the hole without leaving a mound on top. He went to the office and explained his problem.

The boss snorted. "Honestly! The kind of help you get these days! There's obviously only one thing to do. You'll have to dig that hole deeper!"

Patient: "My problem is too much sleeping. I fall asleep as soon as I enter a bus."
Doctor: "So what? It is not at all a problem to sleep in a bus."
Patient: "But who is going to drive it if I'm asleep?"