work jokes

An executive was interviewing a young woman for a position in his company.

He wanted to learn something about her personality, so he asked, "if you could have a conversation with anyone, living or dead, who would it be?"

She quickly responded, "The living one."

Three visitors to London climb up the tower that houses Big Ben and decide to have a contest. They're going to throw their watches off the top, run down the stairs and try to catch the watches before they hit the ground.

The first tourist throws his watch, takes three steps and hears his watch crash. The second throws his watch and takes only two steps when he hears his watch shatter.

The third tosses his watch off the tower, jogs down the stairs, goes to a candy store, buys a snack, walks back to Big Ben and catches his watch. "How did you do that?" asks one of his friends.

"My watch is 30 minutes slow."

How is your new job at the factory?” One guy asked another.
“I’m not going back there.”
Why not?”
“For many reasons,” he answered. “The sloppiness, the shoddy workmanship, the awful language – they just couldn’t put up with it.

A professor of English and the editor of the local newspaper had many friendly arguments. One Friday evening the professor was walking out of a local club with
a bottle of whiskey wrapped in that day’s newspaper.
“Oh!” said the editor, who was walking past. “Looks like there’s something interesting in that paper.”
“Aye,” replied the professor. “It’s the most interesting item that’s been in it all week.