John and I were putting the siding on a barn we were building. I noticed John would take nails out of his pouch, hammer in a few and throw a few away.
I asked him why he was throwing so many nails away. He said he was throwing them away because they had the heads on the wrong end.
I shook my head and said, "John! Don't you know anything about carpentry? Those nails are for the other side of the building!"
After football fans in one particular city were treated to a particularly excruciating loss earlier in the season, a man phoned a sports-radio talk-show host to say, “Everyone should call in and give one word for that game.”
“What’s your word?” the host replied.
“Bored out of my mind,” said the caller.
My boss called me into his office today.
“We both know you’re not the brightest spark here, Simon,” he said, “but over the last 5 years you’ve never been sick or late and I think you deserve a reward. So, how does a brand new car sound?”
“Vrooom! Vrooooom!” I replied.