Interviewer: Your asking for a pretty high salary for someone without any experience.
Interviewee: Well, this job is going to be super hard since I don't know what I'm doing.
Boss - Do you think you can come in on Saturday? I know you enjoy your weekends but I need you here.
Me - Yeah, no problem. I'll probably be late though as public transport on weekends is slow.
Boss - What time will you get here?
Me - Monday.
Upon receiving her manuscript with a rejection letter back from a major publishing company, the author sent a letter to the editor.
"Sir," she began, "you sent back a story of mine. I know that you did not read the story, for as a test I pasted together pages 18,19,20 and 21. My story came back with these pages still stuck together. I know you are a fraud and turned down the manuscript without reading them."
The editor replied: "Madam, at breakfast when I open an egg I don't have to eat the whole egg to discover it is bad."
At a first date:
He: “I work with animals every day.”
She: “Oh how sweet! What is it that you do?”
He: “I’m a butcher."