relationship jokes

My Girlfriend told me: "You have nothing but Jokes! Why can't you ever be serious for once! Hey, you could even make a fine husband one day! Hint!"

"Oh, seriously?" I said (thinking I'm not ready for a commitment yet).

She replied, "Of course, I have always dreamed of the fairy tale wedding and having 6 kids just like the Brady Bunch."

So I replied back, "Well, you're right Honey, I do need to take things more seriously. Actually, I was thinking about changing my profession from Delivering Pizzas to being a Famous Writer."

My Girlfriend says, "Now your talking! I know that's not steady money but anything but more jokes!"

So I said back, "Honey, I know how important you want us to get married and have 6 kids like the Brady Bunch. So how does it sound to you if we discuss our future of a Big wedding and lots of kids!"

My Girlfriend says, "Really?" (She blushes and looking very hopeful.)

I said, "Of course! So where to you want us to get married? In Chapter 2 or 3?"

My husband had just lost 50 pounds when, after eight years of being a housewife, I had taken a job in a restaurant.

When I returned home after my first day at work, I gave my husband a big hug. He seemed to cling to me longer than usual. "Did you really miss me that much today, dear?" I asked.

"No," came the reply. "But you smell so much like pancakes that I hate to let you go."

Two old friends were chatting. One said to the other, "My 85th birthday was yesterday. The wife gave me an SUV."

Other guy responded, "Wow, that's amazing! Imagine that, an SUV... what a great gift!"

"Yup! Socks, Underwear, AND Viagra!"