Sometimes... when you cry... no one sees your tears .
Sometimes... when you are worried... no one sees your pain.
Sometimes... when you are happy... no one sees your smile.
But fart just one time...
After having a great time with his girlfriend, a young man saw a guy’s photo in her bag and asked,
"Is he your ex?"
The girlfriend kissed him and said, "No dear, that's me before surgery."
Two women were discussing marriage, and one said, "We've been married ten years, and every night my husband has complained about dinner. Not one night without complaining about the food."
The other woman said, "That's awful. Doesn't it bother you?"
The first one replied, "Oh, no. Not in the slightest."
"You must be a saint!" commented the second.
To which the first woman replied, "Why should I object? A lot of people don't like their own cooking."
Once my divorce was final, I went to the local Department of Motor Vehicles and asked to have my maiden name reinstated on my driver's license.
"Will there be any change of address?" the clerk inquired.
"No," I replied.
"Oh, good," she said, clearly delighted. "You got the house."