Woman 1: How was your date with the tree removal guy?
Woman 2: Awful. I was scared to death!
Woman 1: Why was that? He seemed nice.
Woman 2: He was nice. But he kept wanting to go out on a limb.
The Harvard School of Medicine did a study of why women like Chinese food so much.
The study revealed that this is due to the fact that 'Won Ton' spelled backward is 'Not Now'.
Boyfriend: "Honey, on this Valentine's Day, I want to tell you something... I'm not rich like Robert. I don't have a mansion like Gary. I don't have a Porsche like Martin. But I do love you and I want to marry you."
Girlfriend: "Oh dear, I love you too... what was that you said about Martin?"
Eve: "My dear Jack is so forgetful."
Celia: "I agree. At the party last night I had to keep reminding him that it's you that he's engaged to and not me."