relationship jokes

Category: "Relationship Jokes"
1 votes

When Mr. Ed retired from television, he got a job as a telephone psychic. Mary was having relationship problems, called in, and got advice from the old stallion.

Arriving home, she confronted her husband, accusing him of having an affair.

"Where in the world did you get that idea?" he asked.

"I got it from the horse's mouth!"

1 votes

posted by "Alan Valentine" |
3 votes

Sign up entering a resturant:

NO, we do not have WIFI... TALK TO EACH OTHER!

3 votes

posted by "barber7796" |
$7.00 won 3 votes

A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You’re just like Frank."

Passenger: :Who?"

Cabbie: "Frank Feldman. He’s a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time."

Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."

Cabbie: "Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy."

Passenger: "Sounds like he was really something special."

Cabbie: "There’s more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody’s birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman could do everything right."

Passenger: "Wow, what a guy!"

Cabbie: ‘He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman."

Passenger: "How did you meet him?"

Cabbie: “I never actually met Frank. He died and I married his wife.”

3 votes

Joke Won 8th Place won $7.00
posted by "outward" |
0 votes

I told my girlfriend, "The last thing I want to do is break up with you... I have about five things on my list before I get there."

0 votes

posted by "Alan Valentine" |