relationship jokes

Gladys: "Listen to this, Mable. This is what my boy friend says in his letter. 'Darling, I think of you all day. Your naturally waved hair. Your brownish-gray eyes. Your slightly prominent cheekbones and your twenty-four inch waist.'"

Mable: "Wow, that's a strange sort of love letter."

Gladys: "Oh, didn't I tell you? Bob writes those descriptions of people that are wanted by the law."

The girl was very rich and the boy was poor but honest. She liked him, but that was all, and he knew it. One night he had been a little more tender than usual. "You are very rich," he ventured.

"Yes," she replied frankly, "I'm worth 1.25 million dollars."

"And I'm poor," he replied. "Will you marry me?"

"No."

"I thought you would say no."

"Then why did you ask me?"

"Oh, just to see how a man feels when he loses 1.25 million dollars."

A girl went to a palmist to have her hand read.

"I see that you are in love with a tall man with a front tooth missing," the palmist said to her.

"That's right," was the reply.

"I see that he has ask you to marry him and his name is Bill Jones," the palmist said.

"That's marvelous," said the girl. "How can you tell that from the lines on my hand?"

"It's not the lines I am reading," the palmist said, "It's the ring you are wearing. I gave it back to Bill two weeks ago."

A poor man and woman sat down in their living room and the man said, ''I'm going down to the pub for a bit, so put your coat on.''

The woman replied, ''Oh, sweetie, why? Are you taking me with you?''

The man replied, ''No, I'm turning the heat off.''