relationship jokes

Category: "Relationship Jokes"
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After four years of separation, my wife and I finally divorced amicably. I wanted to date again, but I had no idea of how to start, so I decided to look in the personals column of the local newspaper. After reading through all the listings, I circled three that seemed possible in terms of age and interest, but I put off calling them.

Two days later, there was a message on my answering machine from my ex-wife. "I came over to your house to borrow some tools today and saw the ads you circled in the paper. Don't call the one in the second column. That's me."

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posted by "wadejagz" |
$50.00 won 7 votes

Woman: "Do you have a greeting card which reads 'You are my first and last love'?"

Store keeper: "Yes ma'am, we do."

Woman: "Perfect! Give me 10 such cards!"

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Joke Won 1st Place won $50.00
posted by "RS" |
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Tired of hearing her teenager complain about everything, the frustrated mother finally reached her boiling point.

“Honey, let me give you some free life advice... Life IS as bad as you think, and yes, they ARE out to get you!”

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posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
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The girlfriend stands by door, not sure what to say. “Honey, why is your whole upper half covered in baby oil?”

“Well, you’re always saying I never glisten,” replies the boyfriend.

“Listen! I said you never LISTEN!”

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posted by "ERS" |