My new girlfriend told me I'm terrible in bed.
I told her it's unfair to make a judgement in less than a minute.
Magic is awesome.
Do you know the name of the magical stick that makes men disappear?
The pregnancy stick.
I tried to re-marry my ex-wife…
But she figured out I was only after my money!
Got an e-mail today from a "bored housewife 32, looking for some action!"
So I sent her my ironing, that'll keep her busy.