Best Jokes

A woman saw an electrician walking up her drive and rushed to the door.

"Why did you come today?" she barked. "You were supposed to repair the doorbell yesterday?

I know," the electrician replied. "I rang three times. There was no answer, so I thought you must be out."

What does Batman put in his beverages?

Just ice.

1. It's not funny to practice barking at 3 a.m.

2. It's wrong to back Grandma into a corner and guard her.

3. He shouldn't jump on your bed when he's sopping wet.

4. The cats have every right to be in the living room.

5. Barking at guests 10 minutes after they arrive is stupid

6. Getting up does NOT mean we are going for a walk

7. Just because I'm eating, doesn't mean you can.

8. If you look at me with those big soppy eyes, I'm not going to give in and feed you. NOT NOT NOT. Oh, ok, just this once.

9. No, it's my food... Oh alright then, just a small piece.