Best Jokes

A gorilla walks into a bar and, to the amazement of the bartender, orders a martini. When the bartender gives the gorilla the martini, he is further surprised to see that the ape is holding a $20 bill.

The bartender takes the $20 bill, then he decides to see just how smart the gorilla is, so he hands the gorilla $1 change. The gorilla quietly sips the martini until the bartender breaks the silence.

"We don't get too many apes in here," he says.

The gorilla replies, "At $19 a drink, I'm not surprised."

A lady went into the grocery and asked for fifty gallons of milk. The clerk, amazed, asked her what she was going to do with that much milk.

"I have a skin problem and the doctor prescribed a milk bath."

The clerk asked, "Pasteurized?"

She replied, "No, just up to my chin."

I got the strangest recording when I called the phone company the other day.

It said, "You have been connected to the correct department on the first try. This is against company policy. Please hang up and redial."

Need Some Drama in your life?

Go to a stranger’s wedding and scream, "Don’t Marry I Still Love You!" and then watch the reactions.