Best Jokes

Mick and Paddy were working on the building site and stopped to have lunch. They sat on the 3rd floor veranda to eat their sandwiches. Paddy opened his lunch box and said, "I hate egg sandwiches." He then got up and threw them off the site onto the concrete below.

Next day, the same thing happened. He looked at his lunch box and said, "I hate egg sandwiches" and threw them over on to the concrete. The third day was similar, so he threw himself over on to the concrete.

Mick sent for an ambulance , to take him to hospital and then went to see Paddy's wife. He said, "I'm sorry to tell you this, but Paddy has been taken to hospital."

Paddy's wife said, "What happened?"

"I think it was your fault."

"Why would you say that?"

"Well, he said he hated egg sandwiches and threw himself off the balcony on to the concrete."

His wife said, "Well don't blame me, he makes his own sandwiches!"

Now that I'm older and life has slowed down I've had time to take a closer look at things. I've found so much humor in everyday things, so much so that I'll sometimes burst out in uncontrollable laughter and hysterics.

The local gang members must really like humor and seem to respect my new outlook on life. So much so that they always give me a wide birth even after dark.

After a year of target practicing, I've got my shooting problems narrowed down to only two problems...

Elevation and Windage.

The prospective son-in-law was asked by his girlfriend's father, "Son, can you support a family?"

"Well, no, sir," he replied, caught off-guard by the question. "Your daughter and I were thinking we'd just have to support ourselves, the rest of you will have to fend for yourselves."