Best Jokes

A magician was working on a Caribbean cruise ship. The audience was different each week, so the magician allowed himself to do the same tricks over and over again.

There was only one problem: The captain's parrot saw the show every week and began to understand what the magician did in every trick. Once he understood, he started shouting in the middle of the show:

"Look, it's not the same hat!"
"Look, he's hiding the flowers under the table!"
"Hey, why are all the cards the Ace of Spades?"

The magician was furious but couldn't do anything; it was the captain's parrot after all. One day the ship had an accident and sank. The magician found himself on a piece of wood, in the middle of the ocean, and of course the parrot was by his side. They stared at each other with hate, but did not utter a word.

This went on for several days. After a week the parrot finally said: "Okay, I give up. What'd you do with the boat?"

Two guys were walking past an outdoor basketball court.

"You want to play Horse?" asked one guy.

His friend replied, "Sure, I guess... but only if I get to be the front legs."

Artist Pablo Picasso surprised a burglar at work in his new chateau. The intruder got away, but Picasso told the police he could do a rough sketch of the suspect.

On the basis of his drawing, the police arrested a mother superior, the minister of finance, a washing machine, and the Eiffel tower.

The Harvard School of Medicine did a study of why women like Chinese food so much.

The study revealed that this is due to the fact that 'Won Ton' spelled backward is 'Not Now'.