Prison is just one word to you...
But for some people, it's a whole sentence.
YOU MIGHT BE A PREACHER IF...
- You've dreamed you were preaching, only to awaken and discover you were.
- A church picnic is no picnic.
- You wish people would die at more appropriate times.
- Instead of getting "ticked off," you get "grieved in your spirit."
- You're tempted to take an offering at a family reunion.
- You've ever wanted to "lay hands" on a deacon's neck.
- Everybody stops talking when you enter the room.
- You sometimes stretch the truth at a funeral.
- You've suffered an anxiety attack while playing Bible Trivia Pursuit.
- The ideas you bounce off board members really do.
- You get your second wind when you say "And in conclusion..."
Be careful when you follow the masses...
Sometimes the "m" is silent!
There’s a guy who’s hiking in the woods one day when a bear chases him up a really tall tree.
The bear started to climb the tree, so the guy climbed up higher. Then, the bear climbed down and went away.
So the guy starts to climb down the tree. Suddenly, the bear returns, and this time he’s brought an even bigger bear with him. The two bears climb up the tree, the bigger bear going higher than the first. But the guy climbed even higher still, so the bears couldn’t reach him. Eventually, the bears went away.
Naturally quite relieved, the guy starts down the tree again. Suddenly, the two bears return. But this time the guy knew he was in big trouble.
Each bear was carrying a beaver.