Best Jokes

After a completing his investigation the detective indicated that he thought it was foul play.

The other detective said, “You mean he was playing with birds?”

I was at a mini-mart one day when I noticed a woman smoking a cigarette while she was gassing up her car. There was a deputy in the store watching her. Suddenly the woman's arm caught fire. She was screaming and trying desperately to put it out, but couldn't.

The deputy ran over and put out the fire with his soda. He then handcuffed the lady and put her in the back of his squad car. I couldn't resist going over to him and asking what he was charging the woman with.

He looked at me, smiled, and said, "I'm charging her with waving a firearm around."

Me: "Why did the chicken cross the road?"

Stranger: "To get to the other side."

Me: "No. To get the Chicken Newspaper. You get it?"

Stranger: "No."

Me: "I don't get it either... I get The Miami Herald."