Best Jokes

I went to dinner with my husband, a male friend of ours, Jim, and his new girlfriend, Dorothy.

While eating dinner we got on the subject of vacations. Dorothy said that she wanted to go to Gotham City for her next vacation.

I tried to explain to her that it wasn't a real place. She laughed and said, "It is, too. It's where Batman lives."

I laughed and looked over at Jim who smiled and told me she was serious. I then tried to explain. "Batman does not exist. Why do you think there have been four of them: Bale, Clooney, Kilmer and Keaton?"

She looked me straight in the eye and said, "That's because he doesn't want anyone to know who he really is."

Little Susie, a six-year-old, complained, "Mother, I've got a stomach ache."

"That's because your stomach is empty," the mother replied. "You would feel better if you had something in it."

That afternoon, her father came complaining that he had a severe headache all day. Susie perked up. "That's because it's empty," she said. "You'd feel better if you had something in it."

"What is the difference between a teacher and a train?" asked the principal.

One student raises her hand and replies, "One say, 'Spit out your gum,' and the other says, 'Choo choo choo!'"