While I was working in the men's section of a department store, a woman asked me to help her choose a white dress shirt for her husband.
When I asked about his size, the woman looked stumped at first, then her face brightened. She held up her hands, forming a circle with her forefingers and thumbs.
"I don't know his size," she said, "but my hands fit PERFECTLY around his neck."
When all this pandemic stuff is over, I still plan to wear a mask.
It hides the perpetual look of annoyance I have for most people.
I know a surgeon who puts organs back in upside down.
He says it’s an inside joke.
It had been snowing for hours when an announcement came over the University's intercom: "Will the students who are parked on University Drive please move their cars so that we may begin plowing."
Twenty minutes later there was another announcement: "Will the twelve hundred students who went to move 26 cars please return to class."