Best Jokes
Favorite this joke YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2016 when...
1. You accidentally enter your PIN on the microwave.
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.
4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.
5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they
don't have e-mail addresses.
6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.
7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.
8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't even have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic, and you turn around to go and get it .
10. You get up in the morning and go online before getting your coffee.
11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )
12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.
13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.
14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.
15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list.
Three engineers and three accountants were traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three accountants each bought tickets and watched as the three engineers bought only one ticket.
"How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asked an accountant.
"Watch and you'll see", answered an engineer.
They all boarded the train. The accountants took their respective seats, but the three engineers all crammed into a rest room and closed the door behind them. Shortly after the train departed, the conductor came around collecting tickets. He knocked on the restroom door and said, "Ticket, please".
The door opened just a crack and a single arm emerged with a ticket in hand. The conductor took it and moved on.
The accountants saw this and agreed it was a quite clever idea. So, after the conference, the accountants decide to copy the engineers on the return trip and save some money (being clever with money, and all that). When they got to the station, they bought a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the engineers didn't buy a ticket at all.
"How are you going to ride without a ticket"? Said one perplexed accountant. "Watch and you'll see", answered an engineer.
When they boarded the train, the three accountants crammed into a restroom and the three engineers crammed into another one nearby. The train departed. Shortly afterward, one of the engineers left his restroom and walked over to the restroom where the accountants were hiding. He knocked on the door and said, "Ticket, please."
What do you call a group of singing dinosaurs?
A Tyrannochorus
Here are some Unwritten Books:
After the Beach by Sandy Britches
Beachcombing Crafts by Purdy C. Shells
Chocolate Bunny Mishaps by Melton N.D. Sun
Christmas Treats by Candie Kane
Deep-Sea Diving by Don I. Gogh
Eagle Watching by C.M. Soar
Getting Good Grades by U.R. Smart
Having a Positive Attitude by U. Ken Duitt
Indoor Winter Fun by Shirley Snowden
Inside the Principal’s Office by U.R.N. Trubble
Kissing the Blarney Stone by Ken U. Pucker
Life in the Arctic Ocean by I.C. Waters
Making New Friends by Jovanna Play
Math Made Easy by Adam Up
Midnight Howls by Ali Katz
Our National Anthem by Jose Canusi
Outrunning Lions by Hugo Fast
Pet Grooming by Harry Dahgs
Sledding Disasters by C.D. Tree
The Best Holiday Costumes by M.I. Scary
Whales and Other Sea Mammals by Dolly Finn
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