Best Jokes

I had finished my Christmas shopping early and had wrapped all the presents. Having two curious children, I had to find a suitable hiding place. I chose an ideal spot—the furnace room. I stacked the presents and covered them with a blanket, positive they’d remain undiscovered.

When I went to get the gifts to put them under the tree, I lifted the blanket and there, stacked neatly on top of my gifts, were presents addressed to "Mom and Dad, From the Kids."

I should have known better than to take my four-year-old son shopping with me. I spent the entire time in the mall chasing after him. Finally, I’d had it.

"Do you want a stranger to take you?!" I scolded.

Thrilled, he yelled back, "That depends, will HE take me to the zoo?"

Teacher: "Here is an example of a tongue twister — Sally sells sixty six shells by the sandy seashore... Now try saying that five times in a row fast!"

Little Johnny: "That five times in a row fast!"