Best Jokes

$8.00 won 2 votes

Now that 7 Eleven has been open for 24 hours for the past twenty thirty years or so, don't you think that they should rename the store to 24?

2 votes

CATEGORY Work Jokes
posted by "Dan the Man 009" |
2 votes

Q: What's the difference between Outlaws and In-laws?

A: Outlaws are wanted.

2 votes

posted by "Foxie" |
$5.00 won 2 votes

A new business was opening, and one of the owner’s friends sent flowers for the occasion. But when the owner read the card with the flowers, it said “Rest in Peace”.

The owner was little upset and called the florist to complain. After he had told the florist about the obvious mistake, the florist said, “Sir, I’m really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry, you should imagine this: Somewhere there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying, “Congratulations on your new location.”

2 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "ltsai" |
2 votes

After an elderly couple starts getting forgetful, they visit their doctor. Their doctor tells them that many people find it useful to write themselves little notes.
When they get home, the wife says, "Dear, will you please go to the kitchen and get me a dish of ice cream? And maybe write that down so you won't forget?"
"Nonsense," says the husband. "I can remember a dish of ice cream."
"Well, I'd also like some strawberries and whipped cream on it," the wife replies.
"My memory's not all that bad," says the husband. "No problem -- a dish of ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream. I don't need to write it down."
He goes into the kitchen, and his wife hears pots and pans banging.
The husband finally emerges from the kitchen and presents his wife with a plate of bacon and eggs.
She looks at the plate and asks, "Hey, where's the toast I asked for?"

2 votes

posted by "Dmitri" |