Best Jokes
Favorite this joke I wondered if I could get my husband to help me address Christmas cards, as I had so much to do. I arranged everything we needed, then hopefully pulled up a chair and said, "Come on, Dear, let's get these out of the way."
He glanced at the array on the table, turned away and went into the den, only to return moments later with a high stack of cards, stamped, sealed, and addressed.
"They're last year's," he said. "I forgot to mail them. Now let's go out to dinner and relax."
A small boy stood in front of the shoemaker’s store watching the man at work.
“What do you fix shoes with, Mister?” he asked.
“Hide,” replied the shoemaker.
“What?” asked the boy.
“I said hide,” replied the shoemaker impatiently.
“What for?” the boy asked.
“Hide! The cow’s outside,” the man said.
“I don’t care if it is, I’m not afraid of a cow,” the young boy replied.
A customer moves away from a bank window, counts his change, and then goes back and says to the cashier, "Hey, you gave me the wrong change!"
"Sir, you stepped away from the counter," said the cashier. "We don't make corrections after you leave. There's nothing I can do about it now. That's the policy of this bank."
"Well, okay, I understand," answered the customer. "Just thought you'd like to know that you gave me an extra twenty. Bye!"
What do you get when you cross a cat with a lemon?
A sourpuss.
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