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Favorite this joke My doctor told me I need to get more cardio exercise and my wife agreed with him. I said, "What about love making, does that count?"
My wife said, "Yes, but I think you're going to need more than three minutes a day."
A defector from another country moves in to an apartment in Chicago, and his new neighbor asks what his apartment back home was like.
“Oh, it was perfect,” the defector says. “I could not complain.”
“What about your job?”
“Oh, my job was perfect. I could not complain.”
“And the food?”
“Oh, the food was perfect. I could not complain.”
“So if everything was perfect in North Korea, why did you move?”
The man says, “Here I can complain.”
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes...
That way when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
"Guess what?" yelled my high schooler as he burst through the door. "I got a 100 on the Spanish quiz that I didn’t even know we were having."
"That’s great!" I said. "But why didn’t you know about the quiz?"
"Because our teacher told us about it in Spanish."
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