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Favorite this joke Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need EXPERT advice!
Husband: Every time I yell and get angry at you, you never fight back. How do you manage your anger?
Wife: I clean the toilet seat.
Husband: How does that help?
Wife: I use your toothbrush.
Did you hear about the cannibal who kept getting stomach aches? He went to the 'good witch doctor' who couldn't figure out what was wrong. He gave the cannibal a medicine and sent him home.
The next day the cannibal came back to the witch doctor and complained of cramps and pains. The witch doctor asked him a bunch of questions and could not figure out what was wrong. As a last resort, the witch doctor asked the cannibal if he had eaten anything strange. The cannibal replied "No."
"Well, what are you eating?" the witch doctor asked.
"The usual," replied the cannibal, "You know just a couple of those Missionaries every now and then."
"Missionaries?" replied the witch doctor. "Just how do you cook them?" he asked.
"The normal way" answered the cannibal as he described the technique. "I boil a lot of water in the big pot, add a little seasoning, a few herbs and vegetables" he further related.
Well, that sounded right to the witch doctor so he pressed a little further. "So, describe these missionaries to me?" he asked.
"Well," replied the cannibal, "you know the ones, they wear those brown robes, wear those sandals on their feet, and they have that bald spot on top of their head."
"THAT'S IT!" exclaimed the witch doctor, "That's your problem! Those are friars... not boilers!!!"
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. As they lay down for the night, Holmes said:” Watson, look up into the sky and tell me what you see?"
Watson said, "I see millions and millions of stars."
Holmes: "And what does that tell you?"
Watson: "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Theologically, it tells me that God is great and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorogically, it tells me that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"
Holmes: "Somebody stole our tent."
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