Best Jokes

Doctor: "I see you're over a month late for your appointment. Don't you know that nervous disorders require prompt and regular attention? What's your excuse?"

Patient: "I was just following your orders, Doc."

Doctor: "Following my orders? What are you talking about? I gave you no such order."

Patient: "You told me to avoid people who irritate me."

The wife, whose husband has a collection of guitars, was before the judge after smashing every single one of them.

The judge ask s, "First offender?"

She replied, "No, your honor. First a Gibson, second a Fender."