My wife asked me why I was doing the dishes while sitting down.
Told her it's because I can't stand doing it.
I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing...
If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!
How do vampires start their letters?
"Tomb it may concern..."
What do you do when you see a SPACEMAN?
You park your car in it!