Best Jokes
Favorite this joke "I love you" is a mathematical function where, 'I love' is the constant and 'you' is the variable...
And marriage inverts the function, where "you" becomes the constant, "i love" becomes the variable.
An elderly man was sitting on his porch rocking back and forth. He seemed to be having a long discussion with himself. Every once in a while he broke into loud laughter. At other times, he shouted “Phooey” in disgust.
A policeman passing by stopped to watch the man and asked him what was going on. “I’m telling myself jokes,” the old man told him. “And if I say so myself, most of them are funny.”
“Then why do you keep saying ‘phooey’?" the policeman asked.
“I only say that when I heard ‘em before.”
After raising four kids and losing one husband, I decided to return to college and get the degree I had started but never finished. And so, on my first day of college, eager with anticipation, and more than a little nervous, I took a front row seat in my first class in over 40 years ... a literature course.
The professor told us we would be responsible for reading five books over the course of the semester, and that he would provide us with a list of authors from which we could choose.
He ambled over to the lectern, took out a paper, and began: "Baker, Black, Brooks, Carter, Cook..."
I was working feverishly to get down all the names when I felt a tap on my shoulder. The student behind me whispered, "Slow down... he's just taking attendance."
I phoned up the fishing helpline today. I said, “I’m really hopeless at fishing and need some tips."
The man said, “Okay, can you hold the line?”
I said, “No.”
Free Daily Joke