Best Jokes

A man went on a dating website, hoping to find a wife. In his profile description he wrote, "Looking for a woman that is smart, pretty, funny, a good cook, organized at home, and has a BASS BOAT!"

He then paused, gave it some more thought, and added, "To be considered, please include picture of the boat."

An announcement at the local ice skating rink: "Will the lady that left 6 kids on the ice rink, please pick them up. THEY ARE MAKING OUR PROFESSIONAL HOCKEY TEAM LOOK BAD!"

Who's the Smarter Shopper?

When a man goes shopping he will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs...

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she does not need, but IT'S ON SALE!

When eating out, 3 guys will each throw in $20, even though the bill comes out to $31.20. None of them will carry anything other than a $20 bill and none will actually admit they want change back.

When 3 ladies get their bill... OUT COME THE CALCULATORS!