Best Jokes

- You've already read the entire Dilbert page-a-day calendar for the year.
- You discover that staring at your cubicle wall long enough produces images of Elvis.

- You've figured out a way to get Gilligan off the island.
- You decide to see how many Mountain Dews you can drink before the inevitable explosion occurs.

- People come into your office only to borrow pencils from your ceiling.
- No longer content with merely photocopying your rear, you now scan and enhance it with Photoshop.

- You now require only a single can of cola to belch the names of all seven Dwarfs.
- The 4th Division of Paperclips has overrun the Pushpin Infantry, and General White-Out has called for reinforcements.

A teacher wanted to teach her students about self-esteem, so she asked anyone who thought they were dumb to stand up.

One kid stood up and the teacher was surprised. She didn’t think anyone would stand up so she asked him, “Why did you stand up?”

He answered, “I didn’t want to leave you standing up by yourself.”

Deep in the back woods of Tennessee, a farmer's wife went into labor in the middle of the night and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery. Since there was no electricity, the doctor handed the father-to-be a lantern and said, "Here. You hold this high so I can see what I am doing." Soon, a baby boy was brought into the world.

"Whoa there," said the doctor, "don't be in such a rush to put that lantern down. I think there's another one coming." Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered a baby girl.

"Hold that lantern up, don't set it down there's another one!" said the doctor. Within a few minutes he had delivered a third baby.

"No, don't be in a hurry to put down that lantern, it seems there's yet another one coming!" cried the doctor.

The farmer scratched his head in bewilderment, and asked the doctor, "You think it might be the light that's attracting them?"