Billy: I think we’ve over-trained our dog! Look at him—he’s a nervous wreck.
Wanda: Why not take him to a pet psychiatrist?
Billy: Oh, we can’t do that... one of the things we’ve trained him not to do is go on the couch!
Boss - Do you think you can come in on Saturday? I know you enjoy your weekends but I need you here.
Me - Yeah, no problem. I'll probably be late though as public transport on weekends is slow.
Boss - What time will you get here?
Me - Monday.
A young man was in love with two women and could not decide which of them to marry. Finally he went to a marriage counselor.
When asked to describe his two loves, he noted that one was a great poet and the other made delicious pancakes.
"Oh," said the counselor, "I see what the problem is. You can't decide whether to marry for batter or verse?"
A six-year-old said grace at family dinner one evening. "Dear God, thank You for the pancakes."
When she concluded, her mother asked her why she thanked God for pancakes when they were having chicken-pot-pie.
She smiled and said, "I thought I would check to see if He was paying attention."