Best Jokes

James comes home to find his wife Rachel sobbing bitterly. "Oh, Honey, I'm so sorry," she sniffles. "I was ironing your suit and went to answer the phone and ended up burning a big hole right in the seat of your pants!"

"There, there, darling," James replies, gently patting her shoulder. "All is well. I have another pair of pants to go with that suit."

"I know," Rachel sniffles. "I used them to patch the hole."

- Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint you will have to touch it to be sure?

- "I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I Do," is the longest sentence?

- When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

What's the difference between a vegan and a computer programmer?

One is disgusted by a rack of lamb and the other is disgusted by a lack of RAM.

I've opened a restaurant called: "Peace And Quiet..."

Kids meals: Only $150.