Best Jokes

My friend keeps saying, “Cheer up, it could be worse, you could get stuck underground in a hole full of water.”

I know he means well.

If the proverbial snake swallowing its tail ever finishes its mission...

Will it blink itself out of proverbial existence?

Worried that his son was spending too much money on dates, a father asked the boy how much his last date had cost.

The son thought for a minute and then replied, "Oh, about $15 I think."

"Well," said the father, "I'm proud of you for finally coming up with an inexpensive evening."

"To be honest Dad," the son went on, "we'd have spent more, but that was all the money she had."

Eighty-year-old Bessie bursts into the recreation room of the retirement home.

She holds her clenched fist in the air and announces, "Anyone who can guess what's in my hand, can take me out to dinner tonight!"

A witty, elderly gentleman in the rear shouts out, "An elephant?"

Bessie thinks a minute and replies, "Close enough!"