Best Jokes
Favorite this joke Jane calls the doctor in a panic. "Doctor, doctor! My little Jimmy swallowed a dozen aspirin. What should I do?"
The doctor asked Jane, "Are you sure it was a dozen?"
The frantic mother says, "Absolutely! Doctor, I'm scared to death!"
The doctor tells the mother, "Calm down. Is little Jimmy crying?"
Jane says, "No."
"Is he sleeping?" asks the doctor.
"No," says Jimmy's mom.
The doctor goes on with routine questions, "Is his color funny?"
Again Jane says, "No."
"Did Jimmy throw up?" asks the methodical doctor.
"No," says the worried mom. "But I'm so scared. All that aspirin...shouldn't I do something?"
To which the doctor says, "Try giving him a headache."
An atheist was spending a quiet day fishing when suddenly his boat was attacked by the Loch Ness monster. In one easy flip, the beast tossed him and his boat high into the air, then opened its mouth to swallow both.
As the man sailed head over heels, he cried out, "Oh, my God! Help me!"
At once, the ferocious attack scene froze in place. As the atheist hung in mid-air, a booming voice came down from the clouds, "I thought you didn't believe in Me!"
"Come on God, give me a break!!" the man pleaded. "Two minutes ago I didn't believe in the Loch Ness monster either!
A local laboratory employed a licensed boat captain to man its research vessel. Reportedly, the captain couldn't swim. A newcomer, learning of this, approached him about it.
"Is it true?" the newcomer asked incredulously. "You, a boat captain, can't swim?"
"No I can't," the captain replied. "Can pilots fly?"
Free Daily Joke