Best Jokes

A fifth grader class was on an educational field trip. As they rode along in the school bus, the teacher noticed that one boy was lying facedown in the aisle of the bus with his hands over his eyes.

“Why are you lying in the aisle like that?”

“Well,” said the boy, “if you don’t see anything, you don’t have to write anything.”

A police officer pulled over a driver and informed him that, because he was wearing his seat belt, he had just won $1,000 in a safety competition.

"What are you going to do with the prize money?" the officer asked.

The man responded, "I guess I'll go to driving school and get my license."

At that moment, his wife who was seated next to him, chimed in, "Officer, don't listen to him. He's a smarty when he's drunk."

This woke up the guy in the back seat, who, when he saw the cop, blurted out, "I knew we wouldn't get far in this stolen car."

Finally, there was a knock from the trunk and a voice asked, "Are we over the border yet?"

A man was sent to prison for 20 years. He was so bored while in there; he found an ant and decided to teach it tricks - like beg, play dead, roll over, jump hair etc. He served his time and was released.

He took his ant with him in a matchbox. The first place he went was to a bar. He sat down, took out the matchbox and emptied out the ant. He then said to the guy beside him, "You are not gonna believe what this ant can do."

He showed him all the tricks and the guy was impressed. He told him that he could make a fortune with the ant.

The guy with the ant was excited and called the bartender over and said "You see that ant?" The bartender put his finger on the ant, twisted it and said "Sorry sir it won't happen again."

Why did Star Wars Episodes 1, 2, and 3 come after Episodes 4, 5, and 6?

In charge of the release dates, Yoda was.