Best Jokes

A customer walks into a restaurant and notices a large sign on the wall, "$500 IF WE FAIL TO FILL YOUR ORDER!"

When his waitress arrives, he orders elephant tail on rye. She calmly writes down his order and walks into the kitchen where chaos breaks loose!

The restaurant owner comes storming out of the kitchen. He runs up to the customer's table, slaps five $100 bills down on it and says, "You got me that time buddy, but I want you to know that's the first time in ten years we've been out of rye bread!"

Three Spies are captured in London. One is German, one is French and the other is Italian.

First they interrogate the German spy and after 3 hours of torture he talks and is thrown back into the cell with the others.

Then the French spy is interrogated, and after about 8 hours of torture they get him to talk and throw him back with the others.

Last they interrogate the Italian spy and after 20 hours of torture and failing to make him say a word they give up for the day and throw him back with the others. When he is back in the cell with the other spies asked him,

"how did you last that long without saying a word"? Then the Italian man says, "I was trying to speak but they had my hands strapped down and I wasn't able to move them".