Best Jokes

Hidden Definitions...

HANDKERCHIEF: Cold Storage.
INFLATION: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.
MYTH: A female moth.
MOSQUITO: An insect that makes you like flies better.

SECRET: Something you tell to one person at a time.
TOMORROW: One of the greatest labor-saving devices of today.
YAWN: An honest opinion openly expressed.
WRINKLES: Something other people have. You have character lines.

The boyfriend calls his girlfriend and says, "Hi, hon, are you good with your heart transplant tomorrow?"

"Oh, I'm a bit frightened, but confident," she answers.

"You know, I love you, and I'm sure everything is gonna be fine," he adds.

"I love you too!" she says and hangs up.

After a successful surgery, she wakes up and when she sees her father beside her, she inquires, "Where's my boyfriend?"

"Whose heart do you think is in your body now?" asks her dad.

"NOOOO!!!" she exclaims.

"Calm down," said her father, "this was just to test your new heart. He just went to the restroom..."

Three men die in a car accident Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at the pearly gates waiting to enter Heaven. On entering they must present something related to or associated with Christmas.

The first man searches his pockets and finds mistletoe, so he is allowed in. The second man presents a candy cane, so he is also allowed in.The third man pulls out a pair of stockings.

Confused at this last gesture, St. Peter asks, "How do these represent Christmas?"

"They're Carol's."