Best Jokes

2 votes

Kenny, a city boy, moved to the country and purchased a car from a farmer for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the car the following day. The next morning, the farmer drove up and said, "Sorry, son, but I have some bad news. The car broke down."

"OK, well, just return my money to me," Kenny said.

"Sorry, can't do that," said the farmer. "I already spent it."

"OK then, just unload the car," said Kenny.

"Whatcha gonna do with it?" asked the farmer.

"I'm going to raffle it off," Kenny replied.

"You can't raffle off a broken-down car!" the farmer exclaimed.

"Of course I can," replied Kenny. "Watch me. I just won't tell anybody it doesn't work."

A few weeks later, the farmer met up with Kenny and asked, "So, what happened with the car?"

"I raffled it off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars a piece and made a profit of $898.00," explained Kenny.

"Didn't anyone complain?" inquired the farmer.

Kenny proudly replied, "Just the guy who won. So, I gave him his two dollars back."

2 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |
2 votes

- Fell out of the family tree.

- Forgot to pay his brain bill.

- Goes surfing in Nebraska.

- Golf bag doesn't have a full set of irons.

- Got into the gene pool when the lifeguard wasn't watching.

- He fell out of the Stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.

2 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "merk" |
$15.00 won 2 votes

James comes home to find his wife Rachel sobbing bitterly. "Oh, Honey, I'm so sorry," she sniffles. "I was ironing your suit and went to answer the phone and ended up burning a big hole right in the seat of your pants!"

"There, there, darling," James replies, gently patting her shoulder. "All is well. I have another pair of pants to go with that suit."

"I know," Rachel sniffles. "I used them to patch the hole."

2 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
posted by "Kathy Harrington" |
$25.00 won 2 votes

- Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint you will have to touch it to be sure?

- "I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I Do," is the longest sentence?

- When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

2 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "merk" |