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Favorite this joke A friend of mine and her husband were on vacation. They visited a church on Sunday morning. They like to sit close to the front so they entered a pew in the second row.
Shortly after settling into the pew, an usher came up to them, tapped lightly on bench, and said, "Excuse me, this pew is saved."
Without missing a beat, the husband replied, "So are we."
A man goes to a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says "You can't bring that dog in here!" The guy, without missing a beat, says "This is my seeing-eye dog." "Oh man, " the bartender says, "I'm sorry, here, the first one's on me." The man takes his drink and goes to a table near the door.
Another guy walks in the bar with a Chihuahua. The first guys sees him, stops him and says, "You can't bring that dog in here unless you tell him it's a seeing-eye dog." The second man graciously thanks the first man and continues to the bar. He asks for a drink. The bartender says "Hey, you can't bring that dog in here!"
The second man replies "This is my seeing-eye dog." The bartender says, "No, I don't think so. They do not have Chihuahuas as seeing-eye dogs." The man pauses for a half-second and replies "What?!?! They gave me a Chihuahua?!?"
"I'm sorry," said the clerk in flower shop, "we don't have potted geraniums. Could you use African violets instead?"
Replied the customer sadly, "No, it was geraniums my wife told me to water while she was gone."
There's this man in the bar and he says to the bartender, "I'll bet you $500 that if you line up five empty beer mugs that I would be able to pee in all of them without any mess." The bartender accepts the bet. Next thing you know the bartender lined up five empty beer mugs. The man drops his drawers and starts to pee everywhere except in the five empty beer mugs. The bartender laughs as the guy pays him the $500.
A woman sees all of this happening and asks the guy, "How come you're not sad about losing $500?" The guy told her, "It is because I had bet the bouncer $2,000 that I would pee all over the bar and have the bartender laugh about it."
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