Best Jokes

An old woman goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse she has been living with for the last 40 years.

The Wizard says, "Perhaps, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you."

The old woman says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."

Now that I'm getting older I wonder how I can still contribute to society even after I’m gone...

In checking my options it looks like I’ll still be able to donate by body to science, science fiction that is.

(Grandchild) Were you in the war Grandpa?

(Grandpa) Yes, I was a fighter pilot!

(Child's mother) "Weren’t you stationed in Colorado dad?”

(Grandpa) Yes, and I’ll have you know that not one enemy aircraft got past Nevada!

In demonstrating the division of powers within the government, the teacher used the family structure as an example.

One boy stood up and said, “It looks like my mom’s the president then, because she veto’s everything.”