Best Jokes

I work a lot but still want to help around the house and with the kids. My wife asked me to do the dishes, put the kids to bed and read a bedtime story.

The next day she had no assignments for me so I asked why. She informed me that I just don’t have the skill set and that she had to redo the dishes.

I said how about the bedtime story thing? She said, well, ok, but this time you have to read it out loud.

A chemical engineer, electrical engineer, and a Microsoft engineer are on a road trip. The car breaks down.

The electrical engineer looks under the hood and can't find anything wrong.

The chemical engineer checks the oil and fuel and can't find anything wrong.

The Microsoft engineer says, "Close all the windows, and try again."

My boss texted me, "Send me one of your funny jokes, Pete."

I replied, "I'm working at the moment, Sir, I will send you one later."

He replied, "That was fantastic, send me another one."