An artist, a lawyer, and a computer scientist are discussing the merits of a mistress.
The artist tells of the passion, the thrill which comes with the risk of being discovered.
The lawyer warns of the difficulties. It can lead to guilt, divorce, bankruptcy. Not worth it. Too many problems.
The computer scientist says, "It's the best thing that's ever happened to me. My wife thinks I'm with my mistress. My mistress thinks I'm home with my wife, and I can spend all night on the computer!"
Confucius say...
He who jumps out of airplane without parachute, is jumping to conclusion.
I went to the doctors recently. He said, "Don't eat anything fatty."
I said, "What, like bacon and burgers?"
He said, "No, I mean you, Fatty, don't eat anything!"
A lady went into a pet shop to buy a bird. She saw one that interested her. “What kind of bird is that?” she asked the salesman.
“That is a crunch bird,” he replied. Let me show you what he can do.
“Crunch bird, my paper!” the man ordered. The bird flew down and in one gulp ate up the sheet of paper.
“Crunch bird, my pencil!” The crunch bird swooped down and swallowed the pencil.
“He’s wonderful!” said the lady. “I’ll buy him.”
The lady brought the bird home. Her husband looked at the bird and wondered what kind of bird it was. He had never seen a bird quite like it before.
“That, my dear,” the wife boasted, “is a crunch bird.”
The husband scratched his head. “Crunch bird?” he said. “Crunch bird, my foot!”