In a moment of closeness, she whispered, "I love you dearly!"
Now, he was an avid hunter and he heard, "I love you deerly!"
In order to continue the romance, he said, "And I love you bearly!"
But, alas, she heard, "I love you barely!"
Here, we must paws...
Judge: What is the prisoner charged with?
Lawyer: He is a camera enthusiast.
Judge: But you can’t put a person in jail because he is crazy about taking pictures.
Lawyer: He doesn’t take pictures, your Honor, just cameras.
Prison is just one word to you...
But for some people, it's a whole sentence.
YOU MIGHT BE A PREACHER IF...
- You've dreamed you were preaching, only to awaken and discover you were.
- A church picnic is no picnic.
- You wish people would die at more appropriate times.
- Instead of getting "ticked off," you get "grieved in your spirit."
- You're tempted to take an offering at a family reunion.
- You've ever wanted to "lay hands" on a deacon's neck.
- Everybody stops talking when you enter the room.
- You sometimes stretch the truth at a funeral.
- You've suffered an anxiety attack while playing Bible Trivia Pursuit.
- The ideas you bounce off board members really do.
- You get your second wind when you say "And in conclusion..."