YOU MIGHT BE A PREACHER IF...

- You've dreamed you were preaching, only to awaken and discover you were.

- A church picnic is no picnic.

- You wish people would die at more appropriate times.

- Instead of getting "ticked off," you get "grieved in your spirit."

- You're tempted to take an offering at a family reunion.

- You've ever wanted to "lay hands" on a deacon's neck.

- Everybody stops talking when you enter the room.

- You sometimes stretch the truth at a funeral.

- You've suffered an anxiety attack while playing Bible Trivia Pursuit.

- The ideas you bounce off board members really do.

- You get your second wind when you say "And in conclusion..."