Leaderboard - 10 unique winners each week!

What kind of key opens a banana?

A monkey!

I recently ask a not so bright applicant to fax me her resume...

She replied that she could not as she only had one copy.

What type of dog does not bark?

A "hush" puppy.

Great news, Mr. Bradley," the psychiatrist reported. "After eighteen months of therapy, I can pronounce you finally and completely cured of your kleptomania. You'll never be trapped by the desire to steal again."

"Gee, that's great, Doc," the patient replied.

"And just to prove it, I want you to stop by the mall on the way home and walk the length of the stores. You'll see that you'll feel no temptation to shoplift whatsoever."

"Oh, Doctor, what can I do to thank you?"

"Well," suggested the psychiatrist, "if you DO have a relapse, I could use a new TV."