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My laptop was driving me crazy. “The A, E, and I keys always stick,” I complained to a friend.

She quickly diagnosed the problem, “Your computer is suffering from irritable vowel syndrome.”

The meaning of opaque is unclear. 

A teenage girl had just been given family-car privileges. One Friday night she returned home very late from a party.

The next morning her father went out to the driveway to get the newspaper and came back into the house frowning. At 11:30 am the girl sleepily walked into the kitchen, and her father asked her, "What time did you get in last night?"

"Not too late, Dad," she replied nervously.

Dead-panned, her father said, "Then I'll have to talk to the paperboy about putting my paper under the front tire of the car."

Is there a difference in a smart person and a stupid person?

No, as both think they know everything.