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So a burglar broke into my house...

I put the red dot on his chest and my cat did the rest!

Upon Little Johnny's graduation his Aunt gave him a graduation present.

Little Johnny: "Thank you so much Aunt Vera for this present."

Aunt Vera: "Oh, that's nothing to thank me for."

Little Johnny: "That's what I thought but mother told me to thank you just the same."

A bunch of men were sitting around the playing poker.

"I win!" said Johnson.

Henderson threw down his cards, "That's it! I've had it! Johnson is cheating!!!"

"How can you tell?" Phillip asked.

"Those aren't the cards I dealt him!"

We are so proud of our neighbor who is a registered nurse...

She came up with the idea of putting band-aids in the refrigerator to take care of cold cuts.