On his 10th birthday, little Johnny's father took him aside. "I think you're old enough now that we should have a talk about the birds and the bees."
"No!" said little Johnny. "When I turned 6 you told me there was no Easter Bunny and when I turned 8 you told me there was no Santa Claus."
"So now if you're going to tell me adults don't have sex, I don't wanna hear it!"
Two cab drivers met.
"Hey," asked one, "what's the idea of painting one side of your cab red and the other side blue?"
"Well," the other responded, "when I get into an accident, you should see how all the witnesses contradict each other."
What did the dinosaur eat after the dentist pulled his tooth?
The dentist!
Grandpa always said when one door closes, another one opens...
Great man, horrible cabinet maker.